One of my associates, an agent who wishes to be identified in this blog only as It Won’t Suck Itself, so recently returned to the States from vacation. I will only say that one of the places he visited on his travels was an island city-state located at the southern tip of the Malay Peninsula, lying 85 miles north of the equator, south of the Malaysian state of Johor and north of Indonesia’s Riau Islands.
Whilst enjoying himself, sightseeing and whatnot, Agent IWSI noticed that the whorehouses of this fair and bustling city were separated by the nationalities of the girls for hire within, each nestled into a separate district of the city. A house in which one could find European girls, a house to visit if one were more interested in Asian varieties, so on, and so forth. Perhaps the most interesting house, and I’m not saying it because I’m biased (pussy’s pussy, I always say), is the European whorehouse, which is quite aptly named “Four Floors of Whores.”
By the way, prostitution in these houses is legal, because it is regulated. However, in the land of segregated sexytime, the punishment for two men engaging in anal sex is fifteen lashes and ten years in prison.
Tonight I had a hot dog to celebrate this new information about whore houses on tropical islands. This blissful hot dog was preceded by an hour long, full-on nap in the windy afternoon. Then I had a dip cone from Dairy Queen. It was all quite nice, and if I could, I would repeat this formula every day: Nap, hot dog, dip cone. It sounds like the lyrics to one of those songs where they shout at you what to do while the song is playing.
Here is a cartoon my sister made:
And that’s all you get from me today. You’re stupid. And that’s the last I’ll say about it.
Go fuck yourself.
THAT’S the last.