Every day, first thing in the morning upon waking up, I do a Google search for “bret michaels crushed.”
Today, finally, I got somewhere:
It ain’t much, buuuut…
If he hadn’t had that cowboy hat on, his flesh bandanna would have popped right off.
I can’t help but wonder what Daisy thought about all of this when she heard. Wasn’t she madly in love with him?

Wait, what??
Meh. She probably just queefed on her man-servant and went back to sleep.