Pumpkin Nutella Cheesecake Cupcakes

This is a bread/muffin recipe, but it’s good for those annoying people who look at a sugary masterpiece you’ve produced and say something stupid like “I only like savories, I’m not a big sweets person.” OK, well nobody’s begging you to have one of these, jagoff. But whatever. It’s all eggy and shit so technically it’s a muffin, but I don’t know a lot of muffins with that amount of sugar in them.

You need all of this:

4 eggs
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 15 oz can pumpkin puree
3 cups flour
2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp nutmeg
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt

(Cheesecake Filling)
1 8oz cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup Nutella
1 egg

Preheat to 375°.  Also, make sure you’ve left that cream cheese out for a while.  You really want it soft, it’s not going to mix into the Nutella if it’s hard little chunks.

Beat 4 eggs just a bit in a large mixing bowl.  (I mean, you really can’t over-beat them, so don’t get all nervous.  It’s not like they’re going to run crying to a teacher at school or something.  Just beat them a little bit and don’t worry about it too much, okay?)

Add in sugar, pumpkin and oil and beat thoroughly.  Really smack the shit out of it.   Add in the dry ingredients and mix until smooth.  The batter is going to be sticky as hell, so scoop away from the bottom of the bowl to be sure you’re getting all of the oil mixture incorporated.

In another bowl, beat together cream cheese, Nutella, and one leftover egg until smooth.  Line your cupcake pan with paper liners, trust me, these assholes aren’t coming out no matter how much grease you put in there: that cheesecake mixture is going to stick if you don’t use paper.  Drop about 2 tablespoons of pumpkin batter into the liners, then a little scoop of Nutella batter over that.  It’s not an exact science, just smoosh the pumpkin batter into the bottoms of the cups then slop a bit of Nutella mix over that.   Then top with 2 more tablespoons of pumpkin batter.  If you want, and I highly recommend it unless you’re a total loser, put a little drip more of the Nutella batter on the top, and swirl it into the pumpkin batter with a the end of the spoon.

Bake for 18-22 minutes. This goes best with the Cream Cheese Buttercream or Vanilla Buttercream icing, but they’re also pretty good without (muffin style).

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